I've got to Create!

     It wasn't til my 29th birthday that things started turning around. I mean, really turning around. And it wasn't a small change-this was drastic. I would never be the same.
     Here I am.

     
     Jenni of the 30. And proud of it. I had never wished to grow old. I delighted in my youngness and played the part very well. Idealistic. Shy, yet intruguing. All a part of me.
     Then I got married.
     And life hit me in a real way. Showed me all my faults and wouldn't let me take down the mirror until I changed. Life has a way of doing that. If you're determined to live by truth. Then the truth will come, and never leave, until you give up and crumble under its demands, or pursue to let it mold your life.
    And that is just what I did. But the circumstances of what brought me to that point is for another story. Here and now I want to document who I am and how I think. I guess this is my personal journal. I can add visuals to my life book here and I like that.
    I feel life is abundant. Life has to offer limitless love and learning. I like it that way. I appriciate the hard and the easy things in my life. That idea of "being thankful in all things" has come from the Book of Mormon. One of those ideas that whispers to me every time I come across it. And over time have adopted the thought process.
     I was having a hard day yesterday. Ohh, it was hard. One I hadn't felt in a while. Yes, amist the storm I praised God. For the oppourtunity to feel the opposite of joy, for how this experience can lead me to applying more faith, hope and charity and lead me to know Christ. I prayed, boy did I pray. My sensitive little soul is so fragile and I wanted to "escape the fiery darts of the adversary," of bitterness and pride. And peace did come. In packets and over time. And the day turned out to be a glorious one. Not because the absence of pain. But because of it. All things are a compound in one. And I have to say...

     I love being alive!
     A large part of my love emerges around the word, Create. There is some facinating data about the nature and vitality of marragies with the idea of creation. John Gottman's 5:1 ratios. Meaning, any relationship is considerd stable if there are 5 positive to 1 negative encounters, ect. The other observation by Gottman and breifly discussed in Dr. Sue Johnsons book "Hold Me Tight" is that when people are stuck in thier negative patterns, they are...stuck. And they seem to be slave to 4 different vices over and over, though the actual arguement may be a new one. Dr. Wally Goddard brought this to Joe's and my attention, is that when people learn to choose not to be stuck, then what happens cannot be documented. Why? When people move into the realm of Faith and Hope and Charity, there is unlimited ways to express these positive communications. Watching a married couple, or parent and child who lives in this world of creation is facinating because they are creating something new. Spontaineous. New and wonderful encounters and conversations become blessed habits that point towards Christ.
       So what does this have to do with my journal blog?
       Within this I share my passions. My passions of creation. And thanks to my Dad who is a passionate teacher, who has varied interests, I have those traits. Thanks to my Mom who is extrememly visual and creative, I inherited those traits too. And thanks to my husband who is grounded, logical and not given to much passion, I have more of a level head then I would without him. "He has always given me wings to fly," I say about my husband as Mrs. Hinkley has said about hers. He has encouraged me, and when needed questioned me, to know if I know myself.
          Inherant within us is the desire to create. We are divine and come from the most divine and creative source in the universe-God. Whose favorite title is Father.
      The greatest thing I think I will ever create in this life is my love for God and my fellow men. And my immediate circle of learning and influence is my family. I am creating my marraige, how my children are raised and to all I meet. I'm dying to create Faith, Hope and Charity.
     I create a marriage, I create and nurture children, I create books, quilts, a healthy diet. I create memories and relationships, ideas and passions.
     Call me crazy. Call me idealistic. Maybe call me obsessed. Watch my passions. Watch my wonderful life.