Further Thoughts on HypnoBirthing

Claira Akilina Black born 6:26 pm, 7lbs. 2 oz. Though I go fast and pushing was less than and hour, it would have been faster if 1. My skin weren’t so tough (My midwife said, “You have really tough skin!” and, 2. If Claira’s hand wasn’t snuggled up to her face the whole time :)

The following are questions I would have about Hypnobirthing! They might be specifically helpful to understand how the labor and delivery actually went for me.

·         Was the natural labor and delivery with Claira different than the natural birth you experienced with Anne?

Yes, almost completely different! Both were wonderfully intense experiences. To put it nicely, it took me over a year to even THINK about wanting to have another child after Anne. With Claira's, it was the next day.

·         What part hurt the worst during Claira’s labor and delivery?

It was getting the I.V. in. That HURT the worst! It honestly felt like they were using a spoon instead of a needle. It was really painful. The nurse mentioned how tough my skin was and was really sorry. I could still feel the pain in my arm days later. The second most painful part was NOT pushing when I felt the urge.

·         What did you learn about Hypnobirthing actually going through the process of labor and delivery?

One was that they were right! They key to a successful, relaxed, pain-free birth is in the practicing. Practicing relaxing and practicing their specified breathing for contractions and for the actual birthing.

Also, I learned that labor (meaning “work”) is still involved. There is still discomfort, but I felt under control and in control. (Except, I had an oxymoron experience. I was relaxed as I was giving birth, but freaking out about because I couldn’t feel my hands or face from over breathing. Weird! Not feeling my hands and face also happened with Anne’s birth, but I was NOT relaxed during hers.)

·         Was there anything in Hypnobirthing that did not work with you?

Yes. There is a specific 'birth' breathing that I practiced, but when it came time to “breathe the baby out” it did NOT feel good. I “pushed the baby out” and that not only felt better, but worked better. I will still try the birth breathing next time (after I've practiced some more :).

·         Do you feel Hypnobirthing is the only and best way to give birth?

No, I do not. I think there are a lot of methods that are helpful and people have to decide what works with how they view labor and delivery. But I do not recommend any methods that teach you to fear birthing, that you and your body don’t work right, that Doctors know more than you (arm yourself with knowledge!) and that it is supposed to be extremely painful. That is just asking for an emergency C-Section.

·         You mentioned midwife. Was there any specific reason you chose to use a midwife?

       Yes, the first 3 deliveries were done by MD’s who were not there for me for most of the labor, nor made it to my room on time. The Doctors all were for cutting me, instead of believing that my body was normal and could do what it was made to. Also, Hypnobirthing is still a relatively new thing, (so is my preferred diet) so I needed someone who thought outside of the box of the mainstream. I NEEDED someone who accepted, understood and empowered me in my decisions. The team of midwives didn’t disappoint! (There was 1 that I wasn’t particularly fond of, but if she was on call, it would have been fine.) 

        One funny thing about the birth is the midwives change 12 hour shifts at 6am and 6pm. So before I closed my eyes for the transition I saw Katie the midwife and when I opened them, Ongela the midwife was there helping me! I was so much inside of myself, I didn’t even notice the change!

        Not all Doctors are bad and not all Midwives are fabulous. You just have to find the person that you agree with!

·         Do you have any other thoughts or feelings about Hypnobirthing?

           You definitely have to get your husband to understand what you are doing so he knows best how to support you. That may be easy or hard, depending on your man!

This is the way I will give birth if/when we decide to welcome another child into our home.

“…Anything that is lovely, of good report, or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.” I believe in anything that teaches us to trust ourselves, that God created women’s bodies to work right, and that birth labor and delivery is a wonderful, happy, work filled experience. My two cents? I believe labor and delivery felt like an intensely uncomfortable walk in the park.

·         If one wanted to learn about a woman’s remarkable ability to give birth, what should I read?

       You can read Dr. Grantly Dick-Read’s book, Childbirth Without Fear. That book is from a medical standpoint which is easy to read and understand. It’s an “every woman who wants to give birth should read it” category. (The Hypnobirthing book was the Mongan method.)

And start practicing meditation! It is a helpful tool for life! Not just for birthing :)

Really, Really

I immensely enjoy writing, or typing my thoughts. I don't know, maybe because the voice inside my head makes more sense the the voice outside, in other words, my ability to perfectly formulate and vocally articulate ideas, emotions and opinions. Oh well. At least I like to write (and read)!

Can you Imagine Being Excited?

       Can you imagine being excited, waiting for a present for 600 years? So excited that you tell your children all about it as if it were going to be opened that day? I mean really honest-to-goodness excited! Because this gift will be life changing. Effecting what you think about, what you believe, what you do, even your love and all your allegiance. Welcome to the reality of one family and their story. A father, a mother, brothers and sisters-just like me and you down through many generations. It all started in the Bible, with the first family, Adam and Eve and the things they were taught about why they were here on earth and where they were going after death.

        This tradition of telling, and passing along to children of a special gift continued for scores of years. Many believed in it, some did not. And the effect of personal disbelief, or belief, and the children they told, or did not tell, would change the course of history.

       There were times that the belief in the gift was so lost that men and women, sensing something missing from their lives, cried out to God to find it. God was merciful and sent angels and prophets. And those who chose to believe would anticipate too and tell their children all about, the gift.

        The family of Lehi and Sariah is an example. They were commanded to leave this ongoing story in the Bible to and create their own true story, The Book of Mormon.

         600 years before Christ’s birth, Lehi was sharing the “glad tidings” and “joy” with his family. The gift that Christ gave in His birth was that His mortal mission would begin, and once fulfilled through his death and resurrection, would release all who believed on his name. Being released from sin because of the “joy” of repentance!

          How lucky we are to have the Bible, and now another witness of Christ in The Book of Mormon. Jacob, one of Lehi’s sons in was also thankful for scripture. He says, ( Jacob 4:3-4).  

 3 Now in this thing we do rejoice; and we labor diligently to engraven these words upon plates, hoping that our beloved brethren and our children will receive them with thankful hearts, and look upon them that they may learn with joy and not with sorrow, neither with contempt, concerning their first ^aparents.

  4 For, for this intent have we written these things, that they may know that we ^aknew of Christ, and we had a hope of his ^bglory many hundred years before his coming; and not only we ourselves had a hope of his glory, but also all the holy ^cprophets which were before us.

        Men “labored diligently” to engrave their testimonies on plates, so we could be thankful, and know what they knew, about Christ coming.

        Jacob not only engraved his testimony but he often spoke of the “joy” of the Saints to his son Enos. When Enos’ belief turned into action-that was called faith. That day when Enos turned his heart to God, through mighty prayer, is a celebration of his Christ’s birth. Why? In answer to Enos’ question of how his guilt was swept away, God answered with this: Enos 1:8.

^…aBecause of thy ^bfaith in Christ, whom thou hast never before heard nor seen. And many years pass away before he shall manifest himself in the flesh; wherefore, go to, thy faith hath made thee ^cwhole.

        Enos didn’t know everything; but had a belief on his father’s words. He acted in faith through prayer. He felt the “joy” of repentance, because he believed Christ would come!

        Alma who taught his children to believe, gave up the judgment seat to preach belief in the Babe of Bethlehem to the people in Gideon and other places. He taught of Christ’s birth from the virgin Mary, Jesus sufferings so he could succor us, the need for faith, repentance and baptism.

        It is remarkable to read in The Book of Mormon, angels were busy sharing the news of Christ’s coming even before that Holy Night. Alma’s missionary companion Amulek was another witness to the people. In Alma 10:10, Amulek shares:

…for behold I say unto you, that as the Lord liveth, even so has he sent his ^aangel to make these things manifest unto me…

        Alma preaches (Alma 13:24, 27)

 24 For behold, ^aangels are declaring it unto many at this time in our land; and this is for the purpose of preparing the hearts of the children of men to receive his word at the time of his coming in his glory.

 27 And now, my brethren, I ^awish from the inmost part of my heart, yea, with great ^banxiety even unto pain, that ye would hearken unto my words, and cast off your sins, and not ^cprocrastinate the day of your repentance;

 28 But that ye would humble yourselves before the Lord, and call on his holy name, and ^awatch and pray continually…

 29 ^aHaving faith on the Lord; 

        A personal account is shared with us when Alma recounts his belief story. We all have one. Alma, being a son of one who believed, chose not to and led many to destruction. Because of a believing fathers prayers, an angel came to stop Alma and warn him of his destruction. He was struck down for many days. (Alma 36:16-21) He says, 

 17 And it came to pass that as I was thus ^aracked with torment, while I was ^bharrowed up by the ^cmemory of my many sins, behold, I ^dremembered also to have heard my father prophesy unto the people concerning the coming of one Jesus Christ, a Son of God, to atone for the sins of the world.

 18 Now, as my mind caught hold upon this thought, I cried within my heart: O Jesus, thou Son of God, ^ahave mercy on me, who am ^bin the ^cgall of bitterness, and am encircled about by the everlasting ^dchains of ^edeath.

 19 And now, behold, when I thought this, I could remember my ^apains ^bno more; yea, I was harrowed up by the memory of my sins no more.

 20 And oh, what ^ajoy, and what marvelous light I did behold; yea, my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain! 

        Do you have a story of joy in repentance that you could share with your children, your spouse? 

        If Alma were to come and ask us the same question I’m about to read, about what we’ve read in the scriptures, as he did to his son Helaman. What would be our relpy? (Alma 45:2-5)

2…Believest thou the words which I spake unto thee concerning those ^arecords which have been kept?

 3 And Helaman said unto him: Yea, I ^abelieve.

 4 And Alma said again: Believest thou in Jesus Christ, who shall come?

 5 And he said: Yea, I believe all the words which thou hast spoken

        The Book of Mormon teaches that true believers in Christ have a name. (Alma 46:15)

15 And those who did belong to the church were ^afaithful; yea, all those who were true believers in Christ ^btook upon them, gladly, the name of Christ, or ^cChristians as they were called, because of their belief in Christ who should come.

        Oftentimes when I am asked about my religious belief, I say, “I’m a Christian…or some people call it Mormon.” Or I just state the full name of Jesus’ Church. 

        Who can dispute of the thrill of the story of Captain Moroni? When the land he loved was threatened by deceit in intrigue, in the honest love of his soul for God, his land, his family and his freedom, he rallied the people in support. He called it, the “cause of the Christians.” Alma 46:12-14, 16

And no story would feel complete without the contributions of women and mothers, who in their own special way nurture belief in the birth of the Son of God to the ones they’ve give birth to or bear with. Wives, mothers, sisters, daughters, aunts, often the quiet story, only because its glad tidings are lovingly told, playing and working alongside children. Their shared faith, equal to the men who believed and then engraved. A group of women who were sharing their belief during the Book of Mormon story sent 2060 believing sons during a crucial part in Moroni’s battle. Their commanders listened to these sons, and commented that not only did they believe their mothers words, but that “their faith is strong in the prophecies concerning that which is to come.”

        What was to come? What was that belief? That Christ the new babe would be born of the virgin Mary! His gift to us, that through his name the conditions of repentance would be available.

Can you imagine being excited that a present came 2013 years ago? So excited that you tell your children all about it as if it were going to be opened that day? I mean really honest-to-goodness excited! Because this gift is life changing. Effecting what you think about, what you do, even your love and all your allegiance. Welcome to reality. A father, a mother, brothers and sisters-just like me and you. It all started in the Bible, with the first family, Adam and Eve. This tradition of telling, and passing along to children of a special gift continues. Many believe, some do not. And the effect of personal disbelief, or belief, and the children we tell, or did not tell, will change the course of history.        
        There are times that the belief in the gift is so lost that men and women, sensing something missing from their lives, cry out to God to find it. God is merciful and sends angels and prophets, believing neighbors and missionaries. And those who chose to believe will look on Christ’s birth and tell their children all about Him.

        Praise and Glory be to God! Let us today rejoice in His gift! Thank God for a change of heart, thank Him for repentance, I’m thankful that I can say sorry and that it means something to another and to myself. Do you believe in the gift?

Giving Birth

Like I said, I am so looking forward to labor and birth. I am doing it natural. Not torture-chamber natural (like Anne), but, as I believe, God-intended natural. I have put so much time and effort into preparing.

I've been practicing meditation for about a year. It has been a wonderful adventure of learning how to be in tune with my body and mind (and spirit). Basically, meditation is learning how to calm, slow or stop the mind from running on auto all the time, in order to relax completely. You know, when you can't get to sleep because you've got so much on your mind? Or when you feel uptight during the day and you can't seem to unwind? That is one benefit of learning and using meditation on a regular basis. From our mind comes the stress that effects the rest of the body, whether physically, mentally and sometimes spiritually.  Meditation gives us the break be in tune with ourselves on a level of unwinding that a movie or music or food, a phone call from a family or friend, cannot quite reach. I highly recommend it...

Anyway, from this, called by different names (conscious meditation, guided meditation, guided hypnosis, hypnotically guided mediation), I heard of a way to give birth where the body is aided by relaxation as opposed to apprehension, dread and fear of the birth. The whole premise of Dr. Grantly Dick-Reads studies and practice as an OB/GYN, found that when women have negativity or fear (in our minds), it creates tension in the body (on sympathetic and autonomic levels) and where there is created tension, muscles (the uterus) which would work well under efficient stress-free function, are worked against, and when you work against a muscle it creates pain. He calls it the "fear-tension-pain syndrome." (Think of when you really have to go to the bathroom, and you are far away from one and you have to hold it in.) His book is called Childbirth Without Fear, first published in 1944. I enjoyed reading his book, even more than a previous book on the same subject by a different author because of the depth of his knowledge, explanation, with no pretenses or cloudy promises.

I've found a wonderful midwife who is familiar with this method of giving birth (sometimes called hypnobirthing), and since she will be in there during my active labor (unlike all previous births with Dr's) I am confident that the 3 of us (Joe educated, trained and included), will work together great. All I can say is I am soooo looking forward to using my practice of relaxation to my benefit! And going through all the phases of labor more educated, more excited and more aware of the miracle of the birth of this little girl or boy!

I've got to Create!

     It wasn't til my 29th birthday that things started turning around. I mean, really turning around. And it wasn't a small change-this was drastic. I would never be the same.
     Here I am.

     
     Jenni of the 30. And proud of it. I had never wished to grow old. I delighted in my youngness and played the part very well. Idealistic. Shy, yet intruguing. All a part of me.
     Then I got married.
     And life hit me in a real way. Showed me all my faults and wouldn't let me take down the mirror until I changed. Life has a way of doing that. If you're determined to live by truth. Then the truth will come, and never leave, until you give up and crumble under its demands, or pursue to let it mold your life.
    And that is just what I did. But the circumstances of what brought me to that point is for another story. Here and now I want to document who I am and how I think. I guess this is my personal journal. I can add visuals to my life book here and I like that.
    I feel life is abundant. Life has to offer limitless love and learning. I like it that way. I appriciate the hard and the easy things in my life. That idea of "being thankful in all things" has come from the Book of Mormon. One of those ideas that whispers to me every time I come across it. And over time have adopted the thought process.
     I was having a hard day yesterday. Ohh, it was hard. One I hadn't felt in a while. Yes, amist the storm I praised God. For the oppourtunity to feel the opposite of joy, for how this experience can lead me to applying more faith, hope and charity and lead me to know Christ. I prayed, boy did I pray. My sensitive little soul is so fragile and I wanted to "escape the fiery darts of the adversary," of bitterness and pride. And peace did come. In packets and over time. And the day turned out to be a glorious one. Not because the absence of pain. But because of it. All things are a compound in one. And I have to say...

     I love being alive!
     A large part of my love emerges around the word, Create. There is some facinating data about the nature and vitality of marragies with the idea of creation. John Gottman's 5:1 ratios. Meaning, any relationship is considerd stable if there are 5 positive to 1 negative encounters, ect. The other observation by Gottman and breifly discussed in Dr. Sue Johnsons book "Hold Me Tight" is that when people are stuck in thier negative patterns, they are...stuck. And they seem to be slave to 4 different vices over and over, though the actual arguement may be a new one. Dr. Wally Goddard brought this to Joe's and my attention, is that when people learn to choose not to be stuck, then what happens cannot be documented. Why? When people move into the realm of Faith and Hope and Charity, there is unlimited ways to express these positive communications. Watching a married couple, or parent and child who lives in this world of creation is facinating because they are creating something new. Spontaineous. New and wonderful encounters and conversations become blessed habits that point towards Christ.
       So what does this have to do with my journal blog?
       Within this I share my passions. My passions of creation. And thanks to my Dad who is a passionate teacher, who has varied interests, I have those traits. Thanks to my Mom who is extrememly visual and creative, I inherited those traits too. And thanks to my husband who is grounded, logical and not given to much passion, I have more of a level head then I would without him. "He has always given me wings to fly," I say about my husband as Mrs. Hinkley has said about hers. He has encouraged me, and when needed questioned me, to know if I know myself.
          Inherant within us is the desire to create. We are divine and come from the most divine and creative source in the universe-God. Whose favorite title is Father.
      The greatest thing I think I will ever create in this life is my love for God and my fellow men. And my immediate circle of learning and influence is my family. I am creating my marraige, how my children are raised and to all I meet. I'm dying to create Faith, Hope and Charity.
     I create a marriage, I create and nurture children, I create books, quilts, a healthy diet. I create memories and relationships, ideas and passions.
     Call me crazy. Call me idealistic. Maybe call me obsessed. Watch my passions. Watch my wonderful life.